10 Things I Hate

Diabetes Blog Week – 10 Things I Hate About Diabetes

1. Feeling  bad after eating something yummy. My brother says “If it tastes good, spit it out because it’s bad for you.”

2. The look some people give me and how guilty I feel for being overweight and diabetic.

3. The fact that I’ve gotten used to hyperglycemia, so sometimes I don’t notice it.

4. How there isn’t a quick fix for a high blood glucose level.

5. Feeling like just another number to my endocrinologist, even if he’s nice.

6. Being so scared of getting pregnant because I don’t want to hurt my baby.

7. My husband’s concern because he doesn’t want to lose me.

8. How little energy I have sometimes.

9. Having to deal with my depression and how it affects my diabetes.

10. Using diabetes as an excuse not to live life to the fullest.

Are You Trying to Kill Me?

Diabetes Blog Week – Diabetes Bloopers

I was trying really hard to think about something funny/weird that has happened to me with my diabetes and I couldn’t come up with anything until I remembered  this gem:

One day I was testing and my husband approached me with curiosity and said “I wonder how my blood sugar is. Can you test me?” – I’m always willing to indulge people’s masochistic fantasies of being poked with a lancet, so I agreed. After all, he’s a big boy, he could handle it… or so I thought.

My lancet device is set at 3. For some reason, he started playing with it and I didn’t notice. So I proceeded to stick his finger and he screamed banshee. I thought he was being a big baby and he told me “How can you do that to yourself every day? It’s horrible!” I was unable to understand what the big deal was because it really doesn’t hurt that much.

After further investigation, I discovered the lancet device was set on 9. Yes, 9! No wonder. I think I pierced even his soul. His blood sugar was normal, and I don’t think he will request another test for a while.

A Letter to Little Bea

Diabetes Blog Week – Letter Writing Day

Dear Little Bea,

You have a personal hero, your dad. He’s your whole world and the person you look up to the most. He loves you dearly, you are his princess. He will be there for you every step of the way and you can rest assured he will never disappoint you. You have a treasure… you better appreciate him! Because one day Diabetes will take him away from you, and your heart will be forever broken, but his death will be your motivation to create awareness about this condition and be passionate about it. And you will be somehow thankful that you got to learn about it since you were a little kid, because when the time comes for you to face it, you will know much more than you think.

No, I don’t want to scare you. I just want to give you a little heads up. Diabetes is quite complicated, but it has been a blessing in disguise for us. We have gotten to meet wonderful people and to learn many things. The best part is that we’re not alone and life has been fun despite its many challenges. We’re happily married to the most amazing man in the world (I know you’re a romantic!) and he understands what this Diabetes thing is about. He will drive you crazy at times, but you’ll love him even more for that.

There are many challenges ahead, but your life will be great. You’re a smart, compassionate, sweet person. You will feel like beating yourself up at times, but don’t get discouraged. Give credit to yourself for your efforts and don’t forget you’re human. Diabetes won’t defeat you.

Love,
Big Bea

 

So Different, Yet the Same

I’m one day late with this post, but the Diabetes Blog Week is probably what I need right now because I feel like I’m in a diabetes emotional rut. Physically I’m OK (apart from being tired due to fertility treatment hormones), but I don’t think I’ve ever felt so disconnected from the DOC, and that’s mostly my fault. So participating in the D-Blog Week may be just what I need to let it out out and make peace with myself.

Anyway, the first post is about admiring/embracing our differences and that is something that has has been on my mind since I attended the Weekend for Women Conference organized by Diabetes Sisters in Raleigh a couple of weeks ago. I can blame the hormones and the feeling extremely tired, but I spent my whole time there wondering why I felt so out of place. I just wasn’t receptive to any of the presentations, and when gathered in more intimate groups I put up a wall as soon as an insulin pump was mentioned. I have type 2 diabetes and most of the time I have no input when it comes to insulin use. And sad to say, most women who attended the conference are type 1. We need more type 2’s making their voices heard during these events, in my opinion.

As I tried to come up with a post to express how I felt, I thought it was just going to upset people. Because, really… I don’t wear an insulin pump, but I am a diabetic and I have my challenges every day. That shouldn’t make me put myself in a little shell of “nobody really understands me;” especially because I think it is my job to speak up about my condition and share my experience. I’ve never agreed with the whole type 1 vs. type 2 war and people thinking one is worse than the other (I still have people asking me if I have the “good” or the “bad” kind of diabetes… OMG!).

I’ve been thinking and… all that insulin pump talk? I love it! Because I learn, because when someone comes to me and asks me about type 1 diabetes I can tell them something at least. Because I learn from people whose condition is a little different than mine. Because at the end of of the day, I am grateful I don’t have to go to bed thinking if my kid is going to have a low at night, yet I pray for all those mothers of children with diabetes. Because I think people who have lived with type 1 diabetes for years are not only an inspiration, but the face of hope.

So thank you for teaching me. Keep talking about those pumps!