I had my regular diabetes check-up this week. The last 7+ months have been a constant battle, trying to figure out why my A1Cs have been so bad. I have been on Victoza for about a year now; it never stopped making me sick, and it obviously did not do the trick. Apparently my beta cells finally decided to take a leave of absence, and what once was a cranky pancreas, is now a full-on angry one. I wonder if I should change the name of the blog… again. J/K
My doctor decided it was time for me to try basal insulin if I was open to it. I told her I have never been afraid of insulin; in fact I think insulin therapy is a wonderful thing (you go, Dr. Banting!). Of course there was the feeling of failure… but no, I did not fail. I had a friend remind me that diabetes is a progressive disease, and this was bound to happen. I guess my pancreas gave me a good 15 years of overtime.
My butter compartment is now occupied by Lantus pens (which made me think of Lee Ann), and I will start this new phase of treatment this weekend. The doctor will decide about meal time insulin as we go. I have been pestering people with all kinds of questions (Thank you, Matt, for all your patience), and I have also been afraid because let’s face it, we are talking about insulin here. But I don’t have to be specific about that. And all those questions, all those fears, made me realize I had to come back to the only group of people who completely understand what it is like to live with diabetes. Starting insulin for me is like having to relearn everything.
I realized that I was right… the DOC has kept me in check in one way or another, and I need the community from which I have learned so much. At some point I felt withdrawn and probably overwhelmed, so I left. But after seeing my doctor and having so many questions, I realized I needed the support. And I also need that daily reminder that when dealing with a chronic disease, it is better to turn to those who live with it as well.