I want to say some things to my hubby and I could write him a letter, but I want to share this with everyone. The desire came after I did a survey regarding Diabetes and personal relationships. When answering the questions, I realized that even though John doesn’t know everything there is to know about my condition (and frankly I don’t either), he cares a lot, to the point of being overbearing and I am perfectly OK with that, even if sometimes I try to be a smartass know-it-all. One of the things he repeats the most is that life is worth living by my side and that he wants me around for years to come. For that I thank him and I love him.
I think I’ve been doing well lately regarding my health. Could I be doing better? Sure! But hey… give myself a break, right? Loving myself is probably the hardest task I need to accomplish every day. Mostly because having type 2 diabetes makes me believe it is ALL my fault, that I deserved it, that I brought this to my life and that I know I can suck it and grow up. But I am smart enough to back off and realize that even though I could have avoided the insulin resistance that lead to my condition, I get nothing from blaming myself and looking back to the things that I did or didn’t do. Some days I just pat myself on the back and say “Good job!” when I know I did the right thing. But I want to do that every day, not just some days.
Anyway, what I wanted to say to my husband is:
Thank you. Because of how hard you work, I am able to afford the medical care I need to manage my conditions. Because of how hard you work, I am able to take my medications and keep things under control (I am sorry for falling off the wagon sometimes). Because of how hard you work, I can change my mind about the things I want to do to get healthy, call it trying a new diet, a new exercise program, read a new book, learn new things, enjoy life. Because of how hard you work, I can choose where I want to go to get treated and have options.
Thank you for being so supportive, for paying attention to what I eat and what I do. For encouraging me to be more active, for wanting to get active with me. Thank you for reminding me that I am someone special and that you love me. Thank you for getting angry with me when I eat that piece of cake that is probably going to send my blood glucose to the clouds. Thank you for being so passionate about my health.
Thank you for accepting and loving me exactly as I am. With my flaws and my weaknesses. You make my diabetes sweet and I love you.