When you have type 2 diabetes and don’t use insulin, you pretty much rely 100% on your diet to keep those numbers in range. Hard task to tackle, let me tell you… especially for a person like me who loves food and eats her emotions. You give me the option between a juicy steak with mashed potatoes and some quinoa salad with weird leaves… guess which one I’ll pick? Yes, I’m not very smart when it comes to eating, and I’m not going to deny that fact. It’s a battle of the knowing vs. the wanting. I’m 38 years, I’ve lived with diabetes for 12 of them, and I’m still trying to figure out how to eat.
And this is where the title of my post comes in. Salads… the panacea of people who like to eat healthy. Salads… what you see people ordering at a steakhouse and wonder WTF they’re doing there at all. Salad… what I consider torture because for me “salad = diet” and believe me, I’ve been on so many of those—even as a child—it just feels like punishment for a crime I didn’t commit. I’m fat, I’ve been fat all my life. I didn’t eat any more than the other kids, I was as active as the other kids, but Mother Nature decided to bestow on me the gift of a wonky endocrine system. So yeah, salad is what I eat on a diet and I hate diets, and I have to disconnect those two.
And if I think about it, I actually like salads. I can eat a healthy salad because I hate anything that is floating in so much dressing you can’t taste the vegetables. So why don’t I eat more of those? Because more often than not I’m disgusted by the look of vegetables on a salad bar. And if there’s one single leaf that looks a little slimy… no, thanks. I know, I’m being picky. But that’s the main reason for me. And if the salad comes directly from a restaurant kitchen, then I don’t know where those veggies have been! And yes, I can make my own salads, but by the time I get excited about them, the veggies I bought are looking as crappy as the ones on the salad bar. I guess I learned too much Microbiology in college.
How do I change this? I don’t know. I mean, I know eating salad isn’t the only thing I can do to eat healthier, but I do need to include more fruits and vegetables in my diet. I’ve been trying to do that, adding fresh berries to my cereal, telling the boyfriend I like cherries and mangoes, reminding myself I’m not going to die because I accidentally chewed on a moldy piece of raspberry.
This is just the tip of the ice berg, but at least I’m starting to recognize how I block myself from making better decisions.
*And I would so eat the salad on the photo right now: Spinach, aragula, cranberries, walnuts and goat cheese.