noun | com·pli·ance | \kəm-ˈplī-ən(t)s\
: the act or process of doing what you have been asked or ordered to do
: conformity in fulfilling official requirements
: a disposition to yield to others
Keyword being ordered. Really? You gave me an order? Do doctors give us orders or recommendations? I prefer recommendations. Maybe I’m a rebel, maybe I question authority more than I should, maybe I’m adult and I only follow orders from my boss—and sometimes from my Mother. Who knows… but the word compliance has been thrown at me so many times by my primary care doctor, and it only adds to another fancy word we love in the diabetes world: guilt. I don’t like the word compliance when it comes to my diabetes; the doctor tells me I’m not compliant and I feel like I’m going through disciplinary action.
But why do we hate the word compliance so much? A few guesses for me…
- Managing diabetes involves so much more than following a bunch of instructions from your doctor. Of course they know what you’re supposed to do, they went to school for that crap! I respect my doctor, and her knowledge, but when she talks to me like I’m a robot… that is not cool. I’m not a kid, stop telling me I didn’t do my homework correctly.
- If you deal with not only one, but two or three (or more!) chronic conditions that require day to day tasks, it can get pretty overwhelming. Sometimes you forget your medication, sometimes your life is so hectic you don’t prioritize too well, sometimes you just want to say eff it. Or at least that’s what happens to me. Is it good? Nope, but hey… sh*t happens.
- Depression, especially the clinical one, makes you not care… not one single bit. You’re down in the dumps and taking care of yourself is at the bottom of your priority list. You feel like you’re going to die anyway, so why bother. So asking about mental health should be the first thing any doctor should do with a patient that requires a constant regime for any kind of condition.
- It’s not that we don’t want to do the right thing. DIABETES JUST SUCKS! So the doctor telling me I’m not compliant leaves out the fact that 1) I’m a human being, not a machine; 2) I’m not perfect; 3) I’m freaking tired of poking myself; 4) I just want to feel normal without all the hocus-pocus.
So no, it’s not only about following orders, or fulfilling requirements. The emotional component of diabetes makes it way more complicated than that. And like my good friend Bennet would say, your diabetes may vary. A set of rules and regulations for conformity, which I associate with the word compliance, is not what we need. We won’t conform… it’s not that easy. I want my doctor to work with me on a plan that works for me. I want my doctor to ask me how she can help me achieve my goals, not hers.
Because I don’t want to be compliant… I want to be successful!