La Bestiole Noire

Meet La Bestiole Noire (Little Black Bug). He likes to visit from time to time. He was introduced to me by an old roommate who helped me a lot through my divorce and my new life after that. Every time I got sad and discouraged, she remind me that I had to squish la petite bestiole noire, the bad thoughts in my head, the little voices telling me that I couldn’t do things.

For whatever reason I have a case of la petite bestiole noire today and I’m not liking it a little bit. Instead of looking at my successes during the last months I’m thinking that I won’t be able to accomplish my goals for a healthier, happier life. That’s actually pretty stupid, considering I’m sticking with an exercise routine, I joined Weight Watchers and if I go back and look at my medical records for the last year or so, I’ve lost some weight. Hopefully the new routine will make me lose even more. Looking at other people’s success stories should encourage me rather than make thing I’m not going to make it; and that’s what the bestiole does to me. I have to fight it.

So why is the bestiole here today? I have no idea. It shouldn’t even knock at my door. I’m keeping myself on track, I’m doing awesome, my blood sugars have been within the normal range for a person without diabetes. My legs hurt a lot from exercising, but every day when I get home for work I turn on the XBOX and Zumba my pain away. My husband and I are thinking about buying bicycles so we can start a new healthy hobby.

Yeah, there is no room for the bestiole in my life so I’m going to squish it and I hope you do, too, when he decides to visit.

There’s an excellent post today at Tiny Buddha, about not letting self-defeating attitudes stop us from doing what we want to do. Go and read it!